I did not want to write this. 

I did not want to write at all. 

So I wrote this. 

Read on. I'll explain. 

Last week I began the habit of doing something I have been trying to do for just over 3 years. Waking up early. And not just early. I am talking about "before the sun wakes up" early. For 3 years, I have tried 5-4-3-2-1, watched YouTube videos that nearly cursed me out for wanting to sleep in, put my phone in the bathroom, slept in my gym clothes....you name it, I tried it. But this week...something changed. And I wish I could give you the 3 Steps I Took for Getting My Ass Out of Bed Before the Sun (really, if I could write that one I'd make some serious money) but I can't. I simply decided to follow-through on the idea that if nothing changes, nothing changes. That...and I gave my husband full permission to physically drag me out of bed to have coffee with him each morning.

So for the last week, AND today, I have been getting up at 4am.

And just as I expected, it has changed everything!

No more anxiety attacks each morning while trying to "beat the clock". No more convincing my son that it is fun to run to class. No more skipping breakfast and praying not to pass out at the gym. No more playing catch up throughout my day. By 6am, my bed is made, my face is made, my clothes are on, my kitchen is clean, my belly is full, my business has been worked on, I've check in with God, I've prayed with my husband, and together we have assessed our goals. And I am no longer panicked by every noise in the house wondering if my toddler is up to disturb  it all. 

Now, what does this have to do with me not wanting to write this post?

Well, I'm not sure exactly as I seem to have been sidetracked. But if I remember right, it was because I now wake up at 4am. As you could imagine, when you are not used to waking up more than 2 hours earlier...you are tired! And so, well, I am tired. But I am choosing to write anyway. Because I imagine you are tired too. And when we are tired, we tend to lose the motivation to do the things that will one day free us from the routines we've created that keep us tired. That keep us feeling overworked. That keep us from feeling like we have the extra time. I am writing because I want you to keep doing those things you committed to in the months leading up to 2020.

Those things that you literally counted down to beginning because :

YOU KNEW they would CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

And yet, today, you are tired. I wrote this because I am begging you to keep going, no matter how unmotivated you feel. I didn't want to write this post, and it may be the worst one I've written so far, but I know how easy it is to skip it. And how skipping it opens the door to skipping it again. And that eventually, it is being skipped every week for 3 years. Don't skip it. Instead, let it be your worst workout ever, let it be the fewest pages you read, let it be the laziest meal you cook, let it be the most tired you have looked in years, but don't skip today.

Because that is how your goals for this year become your goals for next year. 

I did not want to write this.

I did not want to write at all.  

But I wrote anyway. 

Because I know you don't want to do the things today. 

And I am telling you to do them anyway. 

PS: While writing...both of my boys woke up.

And. I. Kept. Writing.

(with one hand)

​

Okay. I know that was 7 years ago. But i'll explain.

The lyrics to "Work B#$%^" are my official anthem to 2020.

I mean, sure I would prefer a Chrysler Pacifica over a Maserati. And sipping on a green juice sounds more enjoyable than a martini. But the overall message of her song is what I want to talk to you about! Because it has taken me a very long time to figure this out and I want to spare you that very long time.

So here it goes....

I used to wonder how in the world a person could go to the gym consistently, eat more healthy than not, read a million books, keep a relatively clean home, excel at their job, and not spend next week's paycheck at Target. I could see accomplishing one or two of those things...but all of them was excessive! And then I would find out they,too, had kids! 

Can I be real for a moment? I found those people to be....Obnoxious. 

I was lucky if I could wake up within the same timezone as my alarm . I was "killing it" if I could put together a couple of fried eggs on top of making something somewhat nourishing for the those mini humans in my home who expect me to fulfill their every want and need. (Because, well...I do.) I did make it to the gym consistently for years! But the time in between was so far apart that I was often welcomed as a new member. So much for feeling like a  part of the gym family.

And where did I go to  feel better about the failure I felt I had become? The bar! Just kidding....they don't usually let kids in there. So Target. I would go to Target. (Okay I still go to Target, but it's different now. I promise.) 

I wondered how those obnoxious people on social media (and yes I know it's not all real) could at least seem to have the majority of their lives in order? And that's when I started to do the things. And realized that it was in doing ALL of the things that I could finally gain control of some of the things. Make sense? 

Okay let me explain.

In order to have the energy to wake up each morning and hit the gym, I had to start nourishing my body appropriately. And in order to have the motivation to nourish my body appropriately, I had to get my body moving so that I could feel good enough to take those extra steps beyond opening a box and pouring. And in order to feel like I could do those things, I had to keep my home in some sort of working order so that the clutter and messiness didn't scare me onto the couch, where the television remote is usually located along with my laziness. And with those things in order, I no longer felt the need to find my self-worth in a big red bullseye and instead had the discipline to create a budget. And the fun thing about budgets is a lot of times, you find money! Much more money than you think. And all of those things work together to feed one another. So the obnoxious girl you follow on social media who has it all together. Well she has it all together because she has to! Because if she let's one of those things go for too long, the other things go with it. Sure, there are some people who can find success in just one thing while everything else is chaotic. But I am learning that this is rare. Most successful people I study exercise discipline in the major areas of their lives. Health, fitness, finances, work ethic, morning routines, giving, spirituality. It all works together!

And so I am hopeful, that in the year 2020, I become for you...incredibly obnoxious.

And you, in turn, remember this post...and vow to be obnoxious too.

Because those people, they have figured it out. So why not follow their lead? 

Oh, and by the way. I meal-prep now. Not because I have the time. But because I don't have the time. 

Three years ago I said I would do it. And I did it!
 
Well not all of it. Okay, not even a lot of it. But I did some of it.

And I am back to encourage you to do some of it too.
 
Because, man, does it feel good!
 
The last time I wrote in my blog, I was in a strange place in my life. I was newly married, I had left my cubicle job, and was on the free living high! Although we feared the financial sacrifice of losing a job, we quickly found alternatives that increased our income rather quickly. A sure sign that we were headed in the right direction. I was happily checking in with you and giving you all of the updates because I believed that you could do the same! Change your circumstances and change your life. And then something happened. Something I never expected and for years I have tried to recover from. This is not a political blog by any means, so I am not going to provide the details. But if you simply glance over at the date on your computer, and subtract three years, well... you’ll figure it out. I was not discouraged from continuing along my journey, but I was disheartened. And to pursue a dream with a broken heart takes a whole lot more energy then I had expected. So I stopped writing in 2017. And eventually took a break from social media altogether. But enough of that! Because I am back and my journey has brought me to new places and I am excited to share!

Because I never stopped believing that you could also change your life.
And I want to be your greatest encourager.
 
So here is the general update on what 2017, 2018, and 2019 looked like. In 2017 I began working for an amazing female entrepreneur who has provided me with invaluable teachings and trainings. However, the biggest thing I have received from working with her is the taste of working for myself. And that taste is better than any s’mores concoction known to mankind. (did you know I am obsessed with s’mores?) In the summer of 2017, the boys and I learned that our household was gaining a new member! So let’s fast-forward 9 months because my brain went into hibernation mode and simply keeping my 4 year old alive took the little energy I had. By 2018, my greatest accomplishment was rolling out of bed and landing on my feet. But in April of 2018, 1 week before my birthday, he was here.
 
Asher Grey Jaramillo was and is a dream come true.
 
Towards the end of 2018, Jacob and I reevaluated our goals and came to a fork in the road. One that some people take up camp in. And even build a tiny house and stay for a lifetime. We learned that in order to make significant changes in our lives and in the lives of our boys, we would have to consider leaving our family and friends and moving to another town. In another city. In another state.
 
And so our research began.
 
In early 2019, having never been to Austin, Texas, we decided it might be perfect for us. And so we visited for just 3 days. Two things that might stick out to you.

First, Texas?! Really? After you fell into a black hole following the events of 2016, you move to Texas? And second, 3 days? You made a life changing decision to move to a new city after visiting for only 3 days?!
 
Yes and Yes.
 
What I have learned in the past few years is that pursuing dreams takes logic and intuition. And many times, it takes more intuition than logic. So as you could imagine, I’m often met with confusion and concern. But having moved to Boston without ever having been there, and living with roommates without ever having met them prior, I’m used to it!
 
So back to this confusing and concerning decision. It was not only the lower cost of living that attracted us. Because alone, that would not have been such a powerful decision. The part of our move that I want to highlight for you is that it forced us to change. Too often we become comfortable in our environments and the day-to-day struggle. We become used to jobs we are unhappy in, paychecks that are too little, time away from our families, unhealthy habits that bring short-term satisfactions and allow us just enough happiness to continue the cycle each week. That was no longer okay for us. Yet we did not know how to drastically change without making drastic changes. And relocating became an option to reset. So reset is what we chose. We moved to Round Rock, Texas in the summer and immediately our routines were forced to change. Again, you change the environment, you change your habits. We vowed to focus on our family, but to also focus on our future. Our energy became dream focused and less than 5 months later, we are several steps closer to living our dreams. While still truck driving, Jacob also belongs to a crossfit community and is developing himself so that one day he could own a crossfit gym. I am writing again and completed my first children’s book, something that took focus and intentionality.

And, as of January 1, 2020, I am officially a business owner in the state of Texas!

But more about that at another time.

Life is good. Do we miss our family? Of course! Do we miss our city? Ummm…do you remember where I moved from? San Diego is paradise and to say I don’t miss it would be laughable. And I would be a liar. But had I stayed, I would potentially be missing a life I never knew. And that would be a tragedy. Change is hard, but just as growing pains are uncomfortable, so too are they necessary to reach our potential. I look forward to continuing to share our journey with you in the hopes that when you come to those forks in the road, you have the confidence to keep moving.
 
Let me be the first to tell you, it will be okay. 

I honestly did not expect this day to come. After waiting impatiently for 2 weeks, 4 weeks, 6 weeks, 8 weeks.... I gave up! I must have submitted it incorrectly. It must not have arrived to its destination. Or worse, it must have been thrown away without a second thought. No acknowledgement of the person who wrote it, little regard for the thoughtful and sensitive content, no need to respond. That is what must have happened to the book proposal I mailed to the publishing company. But then, just as I reverted back from checking the mail like a child searching for the toy in the cereal box, it arrived! The letter!  The letter that solidified my follow-through! I didn't need to open it to feel like I was a success. Because just holding it in my hand told me I was.  And so after staring at my handwritten name on the front of the envelope, with the publisher's name in the top left-hand corner, I opened it. Was I a winner? Had I just accomplished something most authors had not? Had I succeeded in having my work published on the very first try? 
 
Of course not! In fact the letter was generic. It offered no advice, no comforting words like, "What an incredible read! You are ridiculously talented and we will surely publish you soon!" But...that didn't matter! I had just joined the ranks of people like J.K. Rowling! I was rejected by a publishing company and in that, I am a success! You see, to start with, somebody handwrote my name on the envelope. Somebody who works at a well-known publishing company. And the letter, though generic, began with "Dear Author..." Meaning that I had actually written something!
 
Here is my point. Rejection simply means that you attempted something. And that attempt sets you apart. Prior to writing my piece, I had only spoken about writing. I never actually made the time to follow through. Partially because I was preoccupied with life, but second because I was scared. Scared of the very thing that now proves me successful. Rejection. Success is a process, and within that process is failure. The most successful people in the world have experienced it at some point, and yet knowing that failure precedes success allowed them to continue until their ultimate goal was achieved. That rejection letter will go on my wall as a reminder that I did what I set out to do. And one day, when my work is accepted for publishing, that letter will go beside it. Thus completing the process of my success. 

WEEK ONE is in the books and it has been quite an experience thus far! My last day in my "cubicle" was exactly one week ago. That is the same day I was told that the medical benefits for my family and myself would expire within 24 hours! Prior to leaving, I had been told we had until the end of the month. Blow number 1!
 
My husband and I then received the news that the full-time position he would be working to replace my income would not start until May 8th! Blow number 2! And so began the weekend following my freedom and I was not feeling so free. In fact I found myself scrambling a bit! "What other medical billing jobs are out there? Surely I can find something within a few days!" But then it hit me.
 
THIS IS PART OF MY STORY.
 
I chose to leave my career knowing it would not be easy. Knowing there would be moments of uncertainty. Moments where I would regret everything and want to turn back. Eventually the hiccups began to feel more like heartbeats...proof that I was living a different life. A scarier path but with endless possibilities for my family and me. Why was I already freaking out? After all, "nobody said it was easy..." Every great story has many moments that are not so great. Especially in the beginning. And so I was exactly where I needed to be. 
 
One week later and doors have already opened! I landed an amazing part-time job that allows me to grow as a writer and business owner! I will be working primarily from home AND the income is exactly what we needed! The fit could not be better and the experience felt like a divine reminder that my husband and I made the right decision. I was then connected with a good friend who was looking to start a new venture, yet was missing a partner. And so we will be meeting this week to discuss a possible partnership moving forward. These are two opportunities that would have been missed had I been too afraid to leave my safe place! 
 
I still have a long way to go on this new journey but am already amazed at the opportunities coming our way. By finally closing the door that made me unhappy, I have found that there are so many more open doors. Doors that lead to places I could not have imagined. I simply needed to take that chance. 

The difference between those that fail and those that succeed often lies in the plan. 

For years I dreamed of having a different career in which I found meaning and purpose. I found myself walking through the bare hallways of my quiet and mundane workplace pretending I was actually in a different career field. Coworkers admired my confidence and optimism, but truly they were a result of working in a career that was still only a dream. And therefore my moments of confidence and optimism were disingenuous.
 
It is not that the career I was in was beneath me, but rather it was untrue to my heart. I was unhappy and longed to be elsewhere. It was a personal experience that I alone was battling. What made the experience more disheartening was that I had dreams, but no way of reaching them. Or so I thought...
 
I began introducing uplifting and motivational speeches and readings into my routine. Many times, just a few minutes of reading or listening to someone who had found success forced me to think differently. And in time I came to realize that the key to changing my reality was creating and following a plan. 
 
The plan that I came to realize I needed was different from the plans that many of us currently follow. It was not as simple as: 
 
-Find a new job. 
- Make a lot of money. 
- Be successful. 
 
This plan had to be different. It had to answer the question of how and why. It had to include a step-by-step process. It had to include realistic goals. It had to be focused. It had to include timeframes and deadlines. And it had to include a detailed end goal. 
 
My plan of "be successful" became a blueprint. A physical and detailed plan that I laid out before me. Today, I have checklists that I carry with me in my phone and deadlines that are on each calendar I own. I have chosen a career field that makes me happy and I am learning as much as I can about it, as I am once again a student. I discuss my plan with my husband and communicate to him what I need in order to achieve each goal. And I am always conscious of the end goal.  For this is what I turn to when discouragement and a lack of confidence set in. 
 
While I am currently in the preliminary steps of the process, my bridge is being built and each dream is in sight. The process will be long and I will likely need to adjust along the way, but by having a plan before me, I will eventually take hold of my dreams.
 
It is simply a matter of time, hard work, and following the plan. 

The premise of my blog was to allow you to follow a success story in real time. We often hear of success stories after the fact and therefore have a difficult time relating to the individual. We understand that at some point in their life they struggled, failed, cried, wanted to quit, persevered and ultimately achieved success beyond what they often imagined. However, having met them at the peak of their success, we find it difficult to follow their path or heed their advice of "take the chance." 
 
Well. I did it. Today I quit my job!
 
A job that stole pieces of my happiness, suppressed my creativity, and gave me just enough financial security to keep me coming back for more. I was unhappy with who I had become. I was too tired to entertain my rambunctious toddler in the evening, too tired to implement a proper bedtime routine, too tired to commit to morning workouts, and much too tired to pursue my passions. My life centered around Monday and Friday and I became fully aware of the fact that this was the case with most people.
 
"Hi John. How are you?"
"It's Monday."
 
"Hi Kim! How are you?"
"It's Friday!"
 
I was beginning to feel more and more like Belle! "There must be more than this provincial life..." And so I decided it was time to jump into the intimidating and unpredictable ocean that is my dreams. I decided to make a living writing. I am incredibly nervous, anxious, and fearful as I understand the financial consequences of my decision. But I also understand that nothing changes if nothing changes. I am also incredibly lucky to have a husband who believes in me and is choosing to work extra to satisfy our financial needs.  Together, we know that we have finally closed a chapter of our story that has gone on for too long, and are confident that the next will be one of our greatest yet. 
 
And so I encourage you to follow my journey: the ups and downs, the failures and successes, and the surprises that are sure to come. I hope that my decision to walk the talk and step out of my comfort zone will inspire you to do the same. Whether it is quitting a job that suppresses the true you, committing to a healthier version of yourself, or devoting more time to your own happiness and personal growth.
 
Let this be our journey. 

With working a full-time job, a part-time job, planning a wedding, writing a blog, moving, and oh yea...raising a rambunctious 2 year old boy... I found myself praying at night that God would show me favor by extending my days just 2 hours! I didn't need a million dollars (though that would be nice). I needed TIME! And I didn't need a 26-hour day for the rest of my life. Just a few months! But for whatever reason, God chose to not grant me my 26-hour day and I will instead have to add that to the 3,426 other questions I have for Him when we meet. 
 
What I did receive instead was a little wisdom, which could arguably be more beneficial in the long run. I learned that the reason I was always short on time was because I was giving it away! I hadn't learned one of the most powerful, yet difficult to pronounce, 2 letter words. I had not learned to say "no". And because I was agreeing to attend every event, every meeting, every gathering, and fulfilling every obligation presented to me, I had no time! In fact, I realized that had God granted me even 8 extra hours in each day, I would find a way to give those away too! And so I had to learn to say "no" more often.
 
Time is something most of us feel we have too little of. The other is money. And just like money, we spend our time on the things that matter the least instead of investing our time in what matters most. Like our family, our career, our health, our passions, our spirituality. And so I am encouraging you. If you feel as if you could use more time in your day when it comes time to sleep for the night, practice saying "no". Your day will feel longer, you will accomplish the most important goal each day, and you will have time left over to rest!
 
Imagine that! You get to rest! 
 
Saying "no" does not make you selfish. It allows you to be more thoughtful about the things that truly matter.