I did not want to write this. 

I did not want to write at all. 

So I wrote this. 

Read on. I'll explain. 

Last week I began the habit of doing something I have been trying to do for just over 3 years. Waking up early. And not just early. I am talking about "before the sun wakes up" early. For 3 years, I have tried 5-4-3-2-1, watched YouTube videos that nearly cursed me out for wanting to sleep in, put my phone in the bathroom, slept in my gym clothes....you name it, I tried it. But this week...something changed. And I wish I could give you the 3 Steps I Took for Getting My Ass Out of Bed Before the Sun (really, if I could write that one I'd make some serious money) but I can't. I simply decided to follow-through on the idea that if nothing changes, nothing changes. That...and I gave my husband full permission to physically drag me out of bed to have coffee with him each morning.

So for the last week, AND today, I have been getting up at 4am.

And just as I expected, it has changed everything!

No more anxiety attacks each morning while trying to "beat the clock". No more convincing my son that it is fun to run to class. No more skipping breakfast and praying not to pass out at the gym. No more playing catch up throughout my day. By 6am, my bed is made, my face is made, my clothes are on, my kitchen is clean, my belly is full, my business has been worked on, I've check in with God, I've prayed with my husband, and together we have assessed our goals. And I am no longer panicked by every noise in the house wondering if my toddler is up to disturb  it all. 

Now, what does this have to do with me not wanting to write this post?

Well, I'm not sure exactly as I seem to have been sidetracked. But if I remember right, it was because I now wake up at 4am. As you could imagine, when you are not used to waking up more than 2 hours earlier...you are tired! And so, well, I am tired. But I am choosing to write anyway. Because I imagine you are tired too. And when we are tired, we tend to lose the motivation to do the things that will one day free us from the routines we've created that keep us tired. That keep us feeling overworked. That keep us from feeling like we have the extra time. I am writing because I want you to keep doing those things you committed to in the months leading up to 2020.

Those things that you literally counted down to beginning because :

YOU KNEW they would CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

And yet, today, you are tired. I wrote this because I am begging you to keep going, no matter how unmotivated you feel. I didn't want to write this post, and it may be the worst one I've written so far, but I know how easy it is to skip it. And how skipping it opens the door to skipping it again. And that eventually, it is being skipped every week for 3 years. Don't skip it. Instead, let it be your worst workout ever, let it be the fewest pages you read, let it be the laziest meal you cook, let it be the most tired you have looked in years, but don't skip today.

Because that is how your goals for this year become your goals for next year. 

I did not want to write this.

I did not want to write at all.  

But I wrote anyway. 

Because I know you don't want to do the things today. 

And I am telling you to do them anyway. 

PS: While writing...both of my boys woke up.

And. I. Kept. Writing.

(with one hand)

​

Okay. I know that was 7 years ago. But i'll explain.

The lyrics to "Work B#$%^" are my official anthem to 2020.

I mean, sure I would prefer a Chrysler Pacifica over a Maserati. And sipping on a green juice sounds more enjoyable than a martini. But the overall message of her song is what I want to talk to you about! Because it has taken me a very long time to figure this out and I want to spare you that very long time.

So here it goes....

I used to wonder how in the world a person could go to the gym consistently, eat more healthy than not, read a million books, keep a relatively clean home, excel at their job, and not spend next week's paycheck at Target. I could see accomplishing one or two of those things...but all of them was excessive! And then I would find out they,too, had kids! 

Can I be real for a moment? I found those people to be....Obnoxious. 

I was lucky if I could wake up within the same timezone as my alarm . I was "killing it" if I could put together a couple of fried eggs on top of making something somewhat nourishing for the those mini humans in my home who expect me to fulfill their every want and need. (Because, well...I do.) I did make it to the gym consistently for years! But the time in between was so far apart that I was often welcomed as a new member. So much for feeling like a  part of the gym family.

And where did I go to  feel better about the failure I felt I had become? The bar! Just kidding....they don't usually let kids in there. So Target. I would go to Target. (Okay I still go to Target, but it's different now. I promise.) 

I wondered how those obnoxious people on social media (and yes I know it's not all real) could at least seem to have the majority of their lives in order? And that's when I started to do the things. And realized that it was in doing ALL of the things that I could finally gain control of some of the things. Make sense? 

Okay let me explain.

In order to have the energy to wake up each morning and hit the gym, I had to start nourishing my body appropriately. And in order to have the motivation to nourish my body appropriately, I had to get my body moving so that I could feel good enough to take those extra steps beyond opening a box and pouring. And in order to feel like I could do those things, I had to keep my home in some sort of working order so that the clutter and messiness didn't scare me onto the couch, where the television remote is usually located along with my laziness. And with those things in order, I no longer felt the need to find my self-worth in a big red bullseye and instead had the discipline to create a budget. And the fun thing about budgets is a lot of times, you find money! Much more money than you think. And all of those things work together to feed one another. So the obnoxious girl you follow on social media who has it all together. Well she has it all together because she has to! Because if she let's one of those things go for too long, the other things go with it. Sure, there are some people who can find success in just one thing while everything else is chaotic. But I am learning that this is rare. Most successful people I study exercise discipline in the major areas of their lives. Health, fitness, finances, work ethic, morning routines, giving, spirituality. It all works together!

And so I am hopeful, that in the year 2020, I become for you...incredibly obnoxious.

And you, in turn, remember this post...and vow to be obnoxious too.

Because those people, they have figured it out. So why not follow their lead? 

Oh, and by the way. I meal-prep now. Not because I have the time. But because I don't have the time.