Exposing Expectations...

I've always convinced myself that I had high expectations. Expectations so high , in fact, that sometimes they were nearly impossibe to meet. That is until I realized that my high expectations we're not in line with my wants and were instead sabotaging the life I hope to lead.

As my wedding to my amazing fiancé approaches, I have found myself feeling more Chandler than Monica (those who watch Friends will get it). For months I've examined our relationship under a microscope looking for any possible sign that it might grow to fail. And throughout, I have created expectations of what I believed a successful relationship looked like. Or so I thought.

Expectations, as we know them, are what we expect to happen. Usually, our expectations are positive and by meeting them, we accomplish a greater level of happiness. However, what I have come to learn is that many times our expectations are negative without us being aware. We believe that our expectations are in line with what we want in life, but instead they are subconsciously drawing us towards the failure we believe is inevitable. While I have been striving for a happy and successful relationship, my expectations have been a reflection of the failed marriages I grew to know. And so because I was expecting to fail, our relationship suffered.

Often times we convince ourselves that our wants are interchangeable with our expectations. And so we convince ourselves that we truly expect to succeed, be it dieting, starting a business, or building a relationship. But if we dig deeper, we actually find that we expect to fail. And so without realizing it, we meet our expectations.

Since coming to this realization, I have been happier and more confident than I have been in a long time. My baggage has been pulled out from under the bed and I am sorting through it, piece by piece. Expectations are important when setting out to accomplish your dreams, but they must be owned. We must envision the future we want, and remind ourselves of that future each day. And when fear of failure starts to creep in (because it will) we must be ready to combat it by refocusing on those chapters that have already been written, but have yet to be read.

So define your expectations, don't let your expectations define you.

Expect that your life will be different.

That this is truly your time to shine.