Doing what you don't want to do, When you don't want to do it.

I did not want to write this. 

I did not want to write at all. 

So I wrote this. 

Read on. I'll explain. 

Last week I began the habit of doing something I have been trying to do for just over 3 years. Waking up early. And not just early. I am talking about "before the sun wakes up" early. For 3 years, I have tried 5-4-3-2-1, watched YouTube videos that nearly cursed me out for wanting to sleep in, put my phone in the bathroom, slept in my gym clothes....you name it, I tried it. But this week...something changed. And I wish I could give you the 3 Steps I Took for Getting My Ass Out of Bed Before the Sun (really, if I could write that one I'd make some serious money) but I can't. I simply decided to follow-through on the idea that if nothing changes, nothing changes. That...and I gave my husband full permission to physically drag me out of bed to have coffee with him each morning.

So for the last week, AND today, I have been getting up at 4am.

And just as I expected, it has changed everything!

No more anxiety attacks each morning while trying to "beat the clock". No more convincing my son that it is fun to run to class. No more skipping breakfast and praying not to pass out at the gym. No more playing catch up throughout my day. By 6am, my bed is made, my face is made, my clothes are on, my kitchen is clean, my belly is full, my business has been worked on, I've check in with God, I've prayed with my husband, and together we have assessed our goals. And I am no longer panicked by every noise in the house wondering if my toddler is up to disturb  it all. 

Now, what does this have to do with me not wanting to write this post?

Well, I'm not sure exactly as I seem to have been sidetracked. But if I remember right, it was because I now wake up at 4am. As you could imagine, when you are not used to waking up more than 2 hours earlier...you are tired! And so, well, I am tired. But I am choosing to write anyway. Because I imagine you are tired too. And when we are tired, we tend to lose the motivation to do the things that will one day free us from the routines we've created that keep us tired. That keep us feeling overworked. That keep us from feeling like we have the extra time. I am writing because I want you to keep doing those things you committed to in the months leading up to 2020.

Those things that you literally counted down to beginning because :

YOU KNEW they would CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

And yet, today, you are tired. I wrote this because I am begging you to keep going, no matter how unmotivated you feel. I didn't want to write this post, and it may be the worst one I've written so far, but I know how easy it is to skip it. And how skipping it opens the door to skipping it again. And that eventually, it is being skipped every week for 3 years. Don't skip it. Instead, let it be your worst workout ever, let it be the fewest pages you read, let it be the laziest meal you cook, let it be the most tired you have looked in years, but don't skip today.

Because that is how your goals for this year become your goals for next year. 

I did not want to write this.

I did not want to write at all.  

But I wrote anyway. 

Because I know you don't want to do the things today. 

And I am telling you to do them anyway. 

PS: While writing...both of my boys woke up.

And. I. Kept. Writing.

(with one hand)

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