What do you do?

For years this has been the question that has changed my tone during a conversation. The frequently asked question that reminded me that I was not in the career I had hoped, despite the years and years of schooling. That is until I really started to dissect the question. "What do you do?" That can mean so many different things! What people are usually asking is "where do you get the money to pay your bills? Your rent? That car you drive? Who do you report to Monday through Friday from morning until just before sundown? Which company writes those checks that get deposited in your bank account every other week?"
 
So I started thinking about how the answers to those questions are not necessarily the same answers to the one that was actually asked.  I started to think about how I have equated what I do and who I am to that job I report to where I am least happy. Where I sit in front of a computer in a 10X10 cubicle and have less social interaction than Cinderella did up in that cellar. (At least she had mice) Where I bill patients for medical expenses under a healthcare system I despise. Where my degrees centered on human rights and development have zero relation to my daily tasks. Where I have to stop typing every few hours so that my hands stop cramping. That may be my paid job, but it is not what I do for a living. In fact, I feel less alive there than most other places.
 
Instead, the real answer as to what I do is I take care of a wild but sweet and charismatic two-year-old boy. I work on my health and fitness almost everyday to ensure I stay as healthy as possible. I write books for my son that I hope to have published one day. I mentor a refugee family from Burma. I started the process of creating a clothing line. I run a multi-level marketing group and teach others about a product I believe in. And I am planning my wedding to the love of my life. And while doing these things may not pay my rent or provide me with financial stability (though this will be the case one day), they are what I do. They are part of my "living". And when I answer that question this way, that change in my tone is much different.